第十回  
The Book

Summary (締め切り 7月31日)

Written By Rodrigo Rey Rosa(Guatemala)P163
提出順、敬称略
Depicted Details
ごえべえ

The book fails when it tells many details more than needed.
The story starts from a bathroom. It describes the hot water and its sound, the light coming into the bathroom, and so on.
Then he receives a letter, and goes to see a friend. They talk a while, and spend a night. Then he departs from a port.
He arrives in a city called Ogman. The book depicts his memories inspired by the sound of an anchor makes. The book tells how the port looks like. Then a boy who is waiting for him brings him to a house which looks weird. The book shows what he sees in details.
He meets an old man in the house where there is something different and unexpected. Music sounds continuously.
They drink something. Gradually he annoys the interior light. They don't talk anything and the host goes to another room. The host's shilhouette on the curtain which is between the rooms looks like a girl. Behind the curtain a song begins.
He steps forwards, his vision clouds, and shadow and the silhouette disappear. The book ends at that point.

なんだかよくわからないけど、ある本が失敗してることを言ってるんですよね?
あまりにも、不必要なディテールを描写しすぎてて、筋も何もないみたい。
それで、プツンと終わってしまう・・・
みんなはどうSummary書くかな・・・

 
The Book
Middle-angle

The book should be without any needless descriptions; otherwise it won't be successful. Here is a good ( bad ?) example. You can tell how boring and meaningless the story is.
The story starts telling about a bathroom where a man is bathing. It tells too much about the bathroom before he receives a letter from his friend. It again goes into details of his preparations for his trip to see the friend. After spending a night with the friend, he leaves from a port.
He gets to a city called Ogman days later. He meets a boy who takes him to a strange house. Here again the author gives details of the port and what the hero sees on the way to the house.
An old man leads him into the house. It has no doors between the rooms but curtains instead, and music is on. They drink something and nobody speaks. He feels very uncomfortable. The old man gave him a piercing look and the interior light bothers him although it was pleasant at first. It seems to be getting dark outside.
He was inspired to look into the next room beyond the curtain as he thinks he sees a girl there. However he isn't sure if it is her silhouette or the shadow of the old man. When he tries to make sure, both silhouette and the shadow
The Book
ぱんぷきん

Sometimes I wish I could take a bath alone without my kids.
For the time being, I do not have such a quite bathing time. But someday it will come, alone in the bathroom... what do I remember by smelling of soap, water..
Anyway, the story starts describing in the bathroom.
During he takes a bath, he gets a letter from his friend. He packs his stuff and is prepared to go. He stays overnight, next morning he leaves from a port.
The city he arrives is called Ogman. He meets a guy who leads him far down
a narrow ally. He is scared. The only thing he does is just take a look around
what's going on around him. He feels really strange. It takes two hours to
get to the house and the old man opens the door.
In the house, music sounds continuously. The old man brings something to drink. They never speak each other, then old man gets up goes into next room.
The house has only curtain, there are no doors.
Behind a curtain next room, a kind of song is heard. He recognizes the melody and rhythm, but he does not know exactly.
The curtain moves by the wind. He looks a girl but a moment later he confuses her silhouette with the shadow of the old man. The shadow and silhouette are gone as he takes a step.

描写している風景はよくわかるのですが細かいところまで書くと長くなるし、Summaryとして自分ではわかっていても他の人にわかるかというと自信ありません。
また来月がんばります。お盆は大阪です。ゆっくり充電してきます。

The Book
ぽち

The book fails when the author describes too much unnecessary details. In this story he leaves for the voyage, but before he does the author tells every detail of the bathroom that he baths in. After describing about the bathroom including the sound, the light and the memories the author finally goes ahead with the story. He receives a letter and gets ready for his leave. Then he goes to see the friend who sent him the letter and the following morning he leaves from a port.

He arrives in a city, Ogman. The author describes the sound of an anchor and chains make. He meets a boy at the port. The boy leads him to a house. They have walked for two hours. The author busies himself telling all the details of what he sees. They go in the house. There was music which confuses you when you listen. He sees the old man who asks him to sit down and have a drink.

And then the author describes that the music is dying away, the light grows feeble and he hears a voice behind the curtain. He looks at the curtain and he confuses the silhouette of the girl whom he thinks he is looking at with the shadow of the old man. When he goes closer to the curtain the silhouette and the shadow disappear. The book ends at that point.

The Book というのは特定の(実在する)本ではなくて架空の本のことを言っているんですよね?
こういう本はだめなんだよってことが言いたいんでしょうか?
なんだか著者の意図がよくわからない文章です。

 The Book
さなえ


.Unnecessary depiction makes the book boring.

There is a story. A man is bathing, he gets a letter and goes to see a friend who sent the letter then leaves the town early next morning. Days later he arrives in a city meets another friends. The author of the book busied himself telling whatever he sees.

A man and his guide enter the house. The house is something different. One becomes confused by the constant sound of music from the house. The old man who opened the door offers drinks to them. The house has no doors between the rooms but weighted curtains.

A man notices the voice from behind the curtain in the next door. As the curtain moves slightly it seems he is looking at a girl. When he takes a step forward, the shadow disappear. Then the book ends.

ほんと、意味がわからない本です。。^^;
At that point the book ends.で終わってるところがミソ?The bookのThe、、気になりますよね。。

The Book
Rilla

If you go into detail of something more than needed when writing a story, the book will be meaningless and boring. Here is one example.

First, the story begins to give a detailed explanation of the bathroom where a man is taking a bath. Then, he receives a letter, prepares for a journey and goes to see the friend who sent him the letter. He spends the night and leaves there early the next morning.

Next, it tells about the place, days later, he decides to stop over at, where he is called by name by one parson, and follows him.

After that, it describes the unfamiliar scenes he sees on his way to a certain house. (The author gives full detail about what he sees there, but he does not mention the reason he has to go there.) Then, his guide gives four raps on the door. The old man opens the door, lets him enter and asks him to sit down at the table. This time, it tells about the strange atmosphere inside.

He has a mysterious experience that, in the light growing feeble, he hears unfamiliar music and a voice someone seems to intone as if he was having a dream. Then he seems to look at a girl, and confuses her silhouette with the shadow of the old man. He takes a step forward, his vision clouds, and the shadow and the silhouette disappear, and then, this story ends.

まだ娘の家にいます。赤ちゃんは可愛いけど、育てるのって本当に大変!
心配でなかなか家には帰れません(汗
お盆までには帰ると思いますが…

今回のお話、本当になんだかよくわからないですね。
英語散歩のたけぼーさんに聞いてみましたら、
「僕もなんだかよくわかりません、これ。
なんだか夢のビジョンみたい。
作者は何をねらってるんでしょうね。
読み手を混乱させることでしょうか。(笑)」
ってことでした。
そうなんですね。失敗した本の例ですから…

The Book の意味、私も最初何かしら????って考えましたけれど
「The pen is mighter than the sword」と同じように、普通名詞の前につけて抽象的な意味を表すのでは?

The Book
Smiley
This story describes a book, which is a failure, because the book contains lots of unnecessary description, and finishes suddenly without logical development.

The unnecessary description starts from the central character’s bathroom. It depicts some everyday things including hot water, soapsuds, and so on. After the bath, he sees his friend, and next morning he leaves on a voyage.

Then, he arrives in the city of Ogman.  He meets a young man at the port, and the man takes him to a house.  While they’re walking to the house, he sees quite a few peculiar things, and makes note of them.

In the house, there is an old man, and puzzling music is playing.  He likes the interior lighting in the house at first, however he becomes fretful by the light.  After the old man goes to the next room, the music fades away, and the room gets dark.

He is drawn to the next room, and approaches it.  When the curtain moves slightly, he feels as if he is looking at a girl, and he confuses the profile of the old man with the girl.  Then the image muddles, and vanishes. At this point, the book concludes, and we don’t know what happens next.

今回はRillaさんが娘さんの出産のお世話で、お留守なのにもかかわらず、参加してくださり、感激!それに、新メンバー、ぱんぷきんさんもSummaryを書き込んでくださって、ほんと、嬉しい限りでした。
それにしても、今回の課題、わけのわからない話で、てこずってしまいました。
結局、それでも、みなさん、そのストーリーらしきものをちゃんと要約してくださったみたいで。お疲れ様でした。さて、次回はまともだとは思いますが、いかががでしょうか・・・

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