The loss of self-confidence impairs all of yours.
It's a story about a very famous mime.
He was good at not bursting laugh but expressing fear in his performance.
He had been popular enough to be taken up in books and films so far.
But a certain critic savaged his performance, saying that terror is a worthless theme for plays.
Since then he began to lose confidence in his performance.
He turned his performance into love and laughter but failed.
Besides that, one of his girlfriend said his play is capitarized on his neurosis.
He lost the way where he was headed and his performance began to lose his appeal.
At last he never perform on his own will but only by request.
And trying to express a river by the request, he was drowned.

A famous mime whose performance was popular for terror, visited a provincial town at the first time. He carried a parcel which blue string was in. He said it was his prayer. His concert was successful. The audiences were frightened. But one critic of one newspaper cast doubt on his performance which induced a terror.
He thought he should make his audience feel pleasure.
He had a girl friend, but their relationship was not so good. First a woman loved him, but later she hated him because she thought he just pretended to love her. Then she secretly cut the string into small pieces.
He performed describing about love and laughter, but the audience felt not love nor pleasure but regret and terror.
His girl friend severely disparaged his performance, and she slapped his face. He wanted her to hurt so he smiled brilliantly.
He was tired and getting weak and he lost his will to perform. He threw the string into the cistern and flushed it away.
He announced he would not have a concert any more. However, if someone wanted him to perform, he would do without money.
But his performance after that was disastrous. The last time he performed took his life. He dived into a river for describing a river and never reappeared. What was his life?

昨日は眼精疲労になり、モニターを見続けられなくなってしまい、書けませんでした。

自分の才能が何の価値もないものだと思い出したら、生きていく意味もなくなるのでしょうね。